The Book of Joshua P!!

This is the dawn of a new day for me. It’s so amazing to look back at the last two years and see what has become of my life, this thing of beauty and happiness from the darkest moment I’ve ever known.

Two years ago, May 15, 2005, I had just begun chanting, and was getting "everything I wanted"… but I wanted more. I was asking to understand why I was alive, to appreciate life.

I got exactly that. On the Los Angeles subway that evening, I was assaulted and left for dead. Long story short, I was beaten within an inch of my life. I was picked up by an unidentifiable person and brought to an Emergency Room where I was checked in as a John Doe. The woman I had been with for two years could only recognize me by my shirt as she came looking for me. My jaw was wired shut for two months, and several surgeries were to follow. I am still in therapy, but no longer have to drug myself to sleep and can do most things without having to have someone act as a security blanket for me.

This was the lowest moment in my life. For six months I hid the fact that I was suicidal. I held on and pushed through because it was easier than causing any more pain to those that I loved the most. I wished that somehow I could have simply died and they’d never found me.

I’m glad I wasn’t given this choice.

This has been the most painful and beautiful journey I could never have imagined. I’ve found a love and comraderie with and for humanity that I’d never had before. My family has been drawn closer and more connected, and I think we’ve all gained a newfound respect for appreciating every moment we have with each other.

Tears fall continuously from my eyes as I write this. I’m filled with indescribable levels of emotion, running the full length from absolute sorrow to unbounded happiness and gratitude. The pendulum will always swing both ways.

I can’t possibly explain the victory it is to live every day of this life. I don’t wish anyone pain, but I promise you, for every bit you should ever feel; it’s worth it. It’s worth every single second of pain just to know that you are alive. Much more so than the old adage "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger", I have my own statement I say often:

"You can handle ANYTHING. Should you ever come to face anything you can not handle, that will be the thing that kills you."

Please think of this in any time you find strife… you are breathing. Your heart beats. Your mind processes thought. With only these things, Stephen Hawking was able to make it into space recently. Imagine what YOU could do!

Every day I am overcome with awe and joy at the beauty and wonder that allows all of us to live our daily lives. Billions, nay, countless circumstances have had to occur just to take you to this exact moment.

Who are we to waste this?

The love I feel carries me through every day. If it weren’t for exactly everything that had occured up until this moment, I would not be who I am, nor you who you are. Not only should you not take this for granted, I encourage to take advantage of this astounding good fortune that you have!

Wake up every day and thank the universe that you exist.

Live your days full of gratitude and in the service of creating value in your lives and the lives of others.

Choose to be happy NOW. Happiness is not somewhere you will arrive. It is a choice you make every moment that you have the ability to think. The ONLY thing you control in your existence is your perception. Learn to master this, and use your control of this to make your existence happy every second that you can. Think of NOW first. You may not have tomorrow. You do have NOW.

When you lay your head to rest, be thankful for the days that you have had. Be appreciative for all that it has taken just to get you safely to your sleep with the knowledge that you will wake again tomorrow. That simple confidence that you will continue to exist is never to be taken lightly; it can be taken away from you much easier than you could ever imagine.

If you are reading this, know that you are never alone. Something brought you to this moment to see this if nothing else. Know that you are loved, and appreciated, and valuable beyond compare. You hold within you all that you will ever need to be happy. Very little is actually needed to have a happy life. Children are our greatest example of this.

A single moment of your existence now is worth immeasurably more than any wealth or power you may accumulate that exists after you are dead.

You have no other time than NOW. Use it.

Learn to love. Learn to forgive. Learn to support and understand and to grow and to find the value in doing work for the sake of others. In the grand scope of time, you are essentially the difference you have made in the world and nothing more.

Ask yourself, what are you? Who owns your life? How have you made NOW better than "then" for the world? What more can you do?

I beg you, please fight for your heart, your happiness, your strength…. and as you gain these things do all you can to give these gifts to others! You won’t lose anything by this; rather, you will gain wealth in your heart you cannot imagine.

Never stop giving. Never stop opening your heart to the world. Never stop loving.

It is only when you stop trying that you fail.

NEVER GIVE UP.

I love you,

Joshua