Pass the codeine.
At about 9PM Sunday, May 15 I got on a north bound subway train headed home, maybe to get some food on the way. It had been a great day hanging out with my new friend Kurt, and he taught me a LOT about ths film making business. We went to a couple are art shows and did some arts and craft screenprinting type stuff for a prospective magazine article over drinks at his friends place in Little Tokyo. I kept getting more and more hungry, so I decided to take off. He offered to put me in a cab, but I just ran off, sure that I would be OK.
I guess that’s subjective.
At around 11PM I was dumped into the ER at King / Drew medical center by an unidentified man who left after getting someone there to check me in. At least that’s what I am told.
I don’t remember a whole lot, and I guess that’s good, because every little bit that comes back to me makes me feel panic and disorientation. Here’s what I remember so far:
I DID make it onto a train. I don’t know if it was the right one, but I assume it was due to the following set of memories. I remember two black females and one black male on the train insisting that they "WERE helping me" and they kept shoving me back into my seat. I felt like I was 5 again, with bullies pushing me around and it was making me upset. I remember struggling, yelling "THIS IS MY STOP!" a lot of times, and they restrained me, laughing. I tried to break free, but I couldn’t; I looked for some type of emergency call button but I couldn’t see one, and I was at the back of the car, too far from the door. These people that were holding me asked me for something, I assume my money since my wallet and checkbook are missing now, and I said "NO!". The last thing I clearly remember on the train is a hand grabbing the back of my head.
My next string of memories are very wet and strange. I’m waking up on my side, and start crawling on the ground, trying to make my phone work; there’s cars passing by but noone is stopping; I’m screaming and crying and I think I’ve lost most of my teeth. I keep spitting out and vomiting out blood. I’m trying vainly not to make a mess. I can’t stand up. A small part inside of me keeps telling me that I won’t die out here; I just have to keep moving… just keep going and you’ll end up safe, I had to argue with me that I wasn’t going to die.
This seemed like an eternity… some voices asked me if I was OK, who I was, what was my name, did I know where I was… I couldn’t answer them clearly, and all I remember seeing is darkness and blood all over and a few lights here and there. It was time to sleep, and I felt cold.
My next memory is of an ER tech getting pissed off for vomiting blood everywhere, as if I could control it. I still couldn’t see anything cleary, and I tried to say I was sorry, but every movement made me vomit again. I think I puked directly on him once. People kept asking me for phone numbers and who I was.
Sleep. Cold, quiet sleep. I can’t remember sleep ever being so beautiful.
I wake up in the ER and Molly and Carmen are there. Everyone is being so kind, but I know this crying is a bit hard to deal with. The staff at King / Drew is AMAZING. I can’t speak highly enough of how well they took care of me.
I’ve got mushy parts on my head now that are swollen underneath my hair, and my face is shaped like a football and both my eyes are blacked out, and the pain is so bad I can’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time. My jaw is wired shut and will stay that way for about a month, and my vision is a bit blurry hear here and there from the pressure in my head.
I kinda hope that I don’t remember any more than I already do. If this ever all comes back to me, I’ll probably be really freaked out by it; for now I can at least pretend that I am strong because I don’t know what to be afraid of.
Molly and I have to keep a daily pictoral archive for when our lawyer helps us file a case against the MTA.
One of the ER techs said "you’re lucky to be alive."
I replied: "God keeps me around, I’m good humor."
Thank god for liquid codeine and blenders.
May 17th, 2005 at 1:51 pm
What a f*cked up world we live in at times…. You know I have nothing but positive thoughts and hopes that you recover from this ordeal quickly. If you need anything lemme know, and I shall step up to the best of my abilities. Speedy recovery, mandingo.
May 17th, 2005 at 3:10 pm
Thanks, Mike! I’m just trying to lay low for a bit. I have to believe that somehow this leads to something better. Just clear some space on your calendar for us to hang out sometime soon after I’m able to get around a little better. Positive thoughts are definitely the thing I need most right now, I really appreciate it.
May 26th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
I dont know you, but i am very sorry to hear about what has happened to you. Stay strong and get better. You will be in my prayers.
May 28th, 2005 at 11:40 am
I’m really sorry to hear about you being mugged, but why are you planning to sue the MTA?
May 28th, 2005 at 4:23 pm
Travis, anyone travelling on a public form of transportation that the public pays for, AND we pay a policing service to secure (the Sheriff’s in this case) entitles EVERY single user of said service to some reasonable semblance of security.
People are hurt like this all the time, and the MTA has been ignoring it, hoping it will go away, figuring most people hurt aren’t worth the time to help. Noone at MTA even knew this happened until AFTER we called them to file a police report; how the hell does that happen when someone had to have cleaned up a LOT of blood in that car?!
When they did send out a MTA enlisted Sheriff, he went to the wrong address, and just sat there, didn’t even try to call us. I assume he would have left if we didn’t walk down several flights of stairs and across a few streets to find him. When we did find him, he listened to me for a few moments, and then took the existing police report number we had filed, and said “well, guess I’m done, I’ll just add to the one they did”.
Remember, this happened ON BOARD a train. I couldn’t just “jump off” in motion, and even if the odds had been even, is it right to respond to vilence with violence because no one else is there to help me? Would you ask the same if I were your grandmother having a heart attack and I couldn’t stop the train from my seat?
On the bus you have two thing usually, a pull cord to alert the driver, AND the driver can usually see all the passengers. On the subway, only a few trains have cameras, those cameras are closed circuit only, AND no one is watching them. We are told that there is NO TAPE.
In past years, when it was under LAPD control, there were squad cars at EVERY MTA terminal, and usually officers IN and ON the trains. Simply providing a police presence would have prevented this. When LAPD and MTA had a difference of opinion on how much of a presence was necessary, MTA dropped LAPD, and picked up the Sheriff’s.
Now, no one is there.
I go on community clean up walks. I chant every day. I help every one I can. I live a peaceful life. Under the guise that this is unprovoked, it should not have happened just because of the MTA’s apathy for it’s customers; apparently, the only way to make changes with them is if it will alter their flow chart diagram of profit.
June 7th, 2005 at 8:34 pm
Holy fuck, I just saw this. I am soo sorry Josh. I am gald you are alive. Dude, next time, call me. I will come pick you up, if you ever need a ride home from anywhere… email me at d_rivetti@hotmail.com
June 7th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about what happened I dontknow you but I got this link from your brothers antiviolence site..I think its horrible that crap like this still happens and my wishes and prayers are with you i have no money cause im a college student without a job but if there is anything else i can do please let me know…i truly hope you have a quick recovery and good luck with your legal problems.
Cassandra
June 8th, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Hey there, stranger.
I wanted you to know I’m thinking of you and praying for your speedy and complete recovery. Please get better soon and THANK YOU for being alive and staying so strong. You have always been a wonderful friend and a beautiful human. I can’t praise you highly enough for telling your story and inspiring us with your uplifting spirit. To share your pain openly and let people into your world is a gift to all of us.
I feel blessed to know you.
I hope I can help,
V-
June 8th, 2005 at 3:00 pm
OMG that really sucks, I just Saw this on friends LJ, I know I have not talked to you in some time, but I hope you feel better, *hugs* and I hope they catch the guy…
You should talk to Vanessa as she was attacked with a knife by some guys, so she might have some helpful information for you…
Dayna
June 8th, 2005 at 3:53 pm
Don’t know you, found you site thru a friend of a friend’s… But you story is one reason why I believe the police are useless coffee swilling, break taking, donut stuffing ticket writers (and if anyone cares to whine about how “I’ll be sorry when I really need the police… I don’t call 911, I call Smith & Wesson - I fought off looters during the King Riots at the barricades at La Cienega and Pico).
All I can say is that I would have helped you if I had been there. I’ve twice intervened to stop crimes since moving to LA (once stopped a guy from beating up his girlfriend in front of my house, and drove off a car jacker who tried to steal a women’s car in front of my house).
June 8th, 2005 at 5:51 pm
Hello.
This is a scary world at times. I wish you the best of luck in apprehending the lowlife people that did this to you, and I hope the MTA does something about this. They should realize that if you bring a lawsuit, you will have much support from the public and that they will totally be reviled if they try to screw you on this. I would contribute to your fund if I had any money… but… would you be bothered if I posted the Antiviolence announcement and request for help and merchandise (that your brother posted on the Skinny Puppy Club, where I read about this in the first place) on a local music scene group? That would promote its circulation and possibly help your cause. If you would prefer I didn’t, that’s cool too. I hope things look up for you. I always read Kafka or Orwell when my life isn’t going too well, it makes me feel less persecuted by fate. Just a thought. Take care.
~Thea
June 8th, 2005 at 6:41 pm
Man…..we definately do live in a fucked up world. It is amazing that people can do this to other people and even more amazing that people like the MTA and (Sheriffs) arent really doing much about it. If I wasnt broke or jobless right now I would definately be sending some money your way to help out and all…..i hope you end up recovering quickly and that those who did this to you get what they deserve.
June 9th, 2005 at 2:39 am
Just a quick note… the LAPD has been really good to me. It’s the SHERIFFS that control the MTA contract currently, and they have had it only a few years. That’s why we no longer see cars at the terminals.
June 9th, 2005 at 8:13 am
Hi this is Pam in Portland,Or. I hosted your brother and the rest of IR a few months ago. I’m shocked by this news but relived to know you are pulling through. Dereck and others are planning something up hear in a week or so to get the Anit-violence word out. If you can think of anything else we could do to help…let me know. Blessed Be.
June 10th, 2005 at 10:58 pm
First off I would like to state that I don’t know Josh, I have never met or conversed with him to my knowlege. I can say though, that I am happy that he is alive.
Coming out of a situation like this can be “combative” (no pun intended) on oneself to say the least.
You have a lifetime to make things better and thats a good thing. Who I feel truly sorry for is the criminal element that caused this. Those people obviously have no sense in what human life is and because of this I feel they will never truly experience of the fruitfulness that being human truly is.
Lacking compassion for the life of another living thing, regardless of species, is lacking compassion for oneself.
I hope that you pull through well in your difficult time and realize that in your misfortune you have been giving another look at life and as much as you appreciated it, it gives you and those you love a different outlook on your life and your relationship with those around you.
Goodluck to you with your dilema and with all you choose to do in life.
June 13th, 2005 at 12:43 am
Josh,
My friend Angela told me what happened to you. That people can do such things to another human being never ceases to amaze me. I hope you make a speedy recovery. I also hope you strongly consider applying with the Sheriff’s Department for a permit to carry a concealed weapon. If the authorities cannot see their way clear to make public transit safe, I think we have an obligation to provide for our own protection and security. I pray to God nobody else experiences what you went through.
June 14th, 2005 at 12:56 am
To all the kindnesses given here, I am very thankful. For all the positive, encouraging attitudes, I credit you with my speedy recovery.
That is the best thank you I can give so far, but, I promise to keep trying to show how very much I appreciate everything everyone has done.
Oh yeah… for every hand extended, for everyone that says “what can I do?” I ask that, even if you haven’t a dollar to donate from your own pocket, that you post, and re-post, and re-post the
http://www.AntiViolence.US
website address EVERYWHERE. The best way we can come through these troubling times is to continually inspire others to make the world a better place. The NCVC organization that the AntiViolence benefit(s) will be donating their proceeds to, does exactly that, it provides hope, help, and inspiration for people who have been through similar to what I have been through and may not have anywhere else to turn.
Please, tell, type, yell, print, and communicate the web address http://www.AntiViolence.US to everyone you can. You don’t need to explain anything even, just simply write down:
http://www.AntiViolence.US
Judging by how amazing support has been for this already, I am sure that Sam has done a great job in making a difference.
http://www.AntiViolence.US
June 20th, 2005 at 3:36 am
Sam & Josh,
Sam, we just wanted to extend our most sincere condolences for the terrible tragedy that happened to your brother Josh in the LA Metro.
We are very thankful that Josh is still alive and is recovering nicely. No one deserves to be treated the way that he was treated. Sometimes the aftermath in trying to get justice can be just as brutal as the actual hateful crime.
Josh was lucky, just a few weeks ago someone was shot in the head in the LA Metro as well, and didn’t survive to tell the tale. I’m sure there are dozens of cases of violence and fatalities everyday that just get swept under the rug.
We totally commend Sam for not only being a good brother to Josh, but for making a stand against violence and saying, “no, it’s not ok to just sit back and do nothing, we have the right to ride the subway or walk the streets without fear of harassment, violence, or the threat of death”.
It is up to the LA Metro system’s security and law enforcement to provide not only useful, reliable, transportation, but to help to ensure a safe atmosphere for it’s customers.
There is so much hatred and senseless violence in our world today. None of us are immune. I too live in Los Angeles and sometimes take the Metro, even at night. I have thankfully been lucky, but the same thing that happened to Josh, can easily happen to any one of us no matter who or where we are.
Unfortunately, violence and hatred is everywhere. We all have to do our part to watch out for eachother and treat others the way we want to be treated.
I have a good friend who works for the LA Metro in the corporate offices, and I have called him and expressed my strong feelings about this post and I have forwarded Sam’s post to him as well.
He said he will forward it to the right people as well. I told him, “it’s not ok that this happened, and even though I do not personally know Sam or Josh, I still feel very passionately that they could easily represent the negative effects that will occur without proper policing”.
I will follow up with him to make sure that something will be done or that there will be a more thorough investigation.
Hopefully the criminals that committed this hateful crime will be found and brought to justice. I strongly believe in karma and I know that they will soon have to pay for what they have done.
We hope that these things will give you gentlemen some comfort in this difficult time.
From all of us here at Import Sound & Vision, we wish you all the best.
Our thoughts and prayers will be with you.
Sincerely,
Nivek Tek
http://www.importsoundandvision.com
June 20th, 2005 at 10:56 pm
Greetings from the Philippines.
I got this link from the antiviolence site which I saw posted at my friend’s LJ & in turn, posted it in mine. I just wanted to say that I am happy to hear about your speedy recovery & I will continue praying for you, that you may find justice in the quickest possible time. You have unbelievable strength to be able to survive all this.
sincerely wishing you the best,
Joiz
June 23rd, 2005 at 3:54 am
Hello, I am a security guard that works at the complex your mother and father live. I stop by to check in on them because I want to and they told me about your incident. I am sorry that it happened and I hope that you take as little hate away from it as possible. I spoke with your brother for about five minutes, tonight, about it. I just wanted you to know that there are good people out there who barely know you and care about you. Good luck with recovery! I will be in touch via your family and this blog.
June 23rd, 2005 at 3:34 pm
Yeah, Sam’s pretty awesome.
July 1st, 2005 at 11:43 am
I am really sorry for what happened to you. The feeling of being violated like that is nothing less then horrid. I had my house robbed when I was 8 months pregnant, and even with finger prints and evidence, the guy never got in trouble. It really is complete bull how far tax dollars go to help victims, I think the victims department gets 0 dollars of funding.
I am super happy that you are doing better, and I hope you sue the crap out of the MTA, if you need a petition signed, or help, there are several of us behind you.
Seems you are right the only time ANYONE listens is when they lose money, just like the Yahoo Child Porn chat rooms. They finally got shut down, after losing only ad money, even though I emailed them 20 times about just one guy.
Most police are lazy tarts, I hope you sue them and it makes a difference.
Good Luck!!!!
July 1st, 2005 at 3:42 pm
Hello Joshua,
I just wanted to let you know that I believe you are a very brave man. I found this link through your brother Sam’s website. I am very sorry to hear about what happened to you. Those individuals had no right to treat you that way! I do not have any pity for them at all. I hope they get what they deserve (karma). I read in your story that there was a man and two women. Forgive me if I am wrong here, but I am assuming it was the man that hurt you. I am praying for you that both of the women or at least one of the women will come forward and contact the police in order to turn that man in. I don’t see how that man and the two women could sleep at night, knowing that they left you for dead. I passed your story on to my sister (she lives in West Hollywood) and she is also praying for you, and praying that someone will come forward with information on your attackers. My sister has also ridden the Metro many times. She now says she will never ride the Metro again. I also told my parents about your story and they are praying for your quick recovery and for your attackers to be brought to justice. I will also spread the word about http://www.antiViolence.US for you and all the other brave survivors who have gone through similar violent situations. Joshua, I pray for your mind, body, and soul to heal from this attack and I praise you for your strength and courage to help others in your situation.
Heartfelt wishes to you and your family and may God speed your recovery,
Lori
July 1st, 2005 at 7:29 pm
Hi Joshua,
We are so sorry to here of your attack in May. We hope you get justice in your favor. Our thoughts & prayers are with you. I realize you don’t know us, but we saw your blog by way of the batsday site as we go each year to DL for the event. Hope you can attend this year! A speedy recovery to you!
July 4th, 2005 at 6:12 pm
hi Joshua,
I’m not sure if you know who I am but I’m a faraway friend (living in Tokyo) of a person who’s been staying very close to you. I didn’t know what happened to you till yesterday. My Japanese friends here and I are SO sorry to hear about that and got confused too much from yesterday to find what to do or what to say….
Now we are praying for you in a Japanese way.
July 7th, 2005 at 11:51 pm
Wow,a Black man and 2 Black women,what a Rarity!3 Blacks attack a white person.Sounds racist to me.If it was 3 whites attacking a black man it would be ALL over the news.I hope you get better.Do the Police have any leads on these animals?
July 9th, 2005 at 2:12 pm
I really hope all is well for you darling. Please Let me and Zak know if we can help.
Sophia
July 11th, 2005 at 12:35 pm
NO tape of the beating huh? You should ask how the LA Metro plans to protect us from terrorist bombings if no one watches the cameras.
July 19th, 2005 at 10:48 am
Hey man, I hope that your feeling better. I just found out about this a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what to say but I know what to do. Pass out as many as these damn flyers as I can. Your plight will be represented at as many places as I can get to and posted everywhere that I have time to. The MTA is staffed by a bunch of overpayed, undereduacated knuckle draggers, hopefuly you’ll make a speedy recovery and you’ll find a lawer who will take this case under contingancey. I’m praying for you bro’!
Namaste,
Thaddaeus
August 21st, 2005 at 1:39 pm
You poor baby. I wish I could hold and rock you.
I am so sorry this happened.
August 26th, 2005 at 2:34 pm
That really stinks that this happened to you…
I do hope that justice is served !!!!
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 am
Thank you for your site
I made on photoshop backgrounds for myspace or youtube and even more
my backgrounds:http://tinyurl.com/6rbxmr
all the best and thank you again!
November 27th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
hey!
xoxo
I made with photoshop animated myspace pictures.
take a look at them:
http://tinyurl.com/66dwoa
Thanks a lot 4 your site